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Here comes little naked me!!

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retard sandwich with extra retard [Apr. 17th, 2007|06:15 pm]

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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2006|11:55 pm]
Jesus loves me,
he loves me a bunch,
because he always puts skippy,
in my lunch.
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2006|01:33 pm]
I live.
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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2005|05:01 pm]
This isn't some cheesy e-mail forward. This is my own personal advice on drunk sex and how to go about doing it. It goes beyond "wear a condom" and "don't have sex with TOO many strangers." Some it is my own experiences, some of it is gathered from friends. Just bear with me.

- Try to avoid name calling at all costs. I mean, if it's your usual thing, do it, but I know if my boyfriend ever said, "you're a dirty slut and you need to be punished" anytime during intercourse, I would start SOBBING and maybe never have sex again until I'm married no matter HOW much -OH I had in my system.

- Never suggest a threesome with their hot best friend when fucked up, ESPECIALLY if they are sober. I know if my boyfriend suggested a threesome with any of my friends even if he was shitfaced out of his mind, I'd be pissed.

- Don't say what you're thinking after outloud. We all think weird things after, but don't say them because they're irrelevant/stupid. Well, inebriated, it might seem like a good idea; it isn't. After sex I'm usually thinking the strangest things, like, "where is my boyfriends cat?" Because I knew it was in the living/dining room area when we started, and the door was closed so it couldn't leave, so where is it? Did we scare it? Did it watch? That would be WEIRD. I'd rather not know.

- Don't do it at family parties. Especially your parents 25th wedding anniversary party... on their bed... when you are HAMMERED and your boyfriend is completly sober. Anything involving a family function is out, because it's your FAMILY.

- Don't puke, especially if you're on top. I don't need to elaborate.

- Don't cry, and go into a speal about how amazing/beautiful/perfect your sig other is after/during the sex, especially if the other party is sober. I ESPECIALLY don't reccommend doing this on a one night stand/few weeks into a relationship. Yes, at that particular moment, your bf/gf may be all these adjectives listed above, but try to suppress the urge to start sobbing hysterically and tell them this. Wait till morning, and if they're still all these things, tell them. They're usually not... and I DON'T reccommend doing this at a 25th wedding anniversary party... on your parents bed... with your family downstairs... with your sober boyfriend.

- Act the way you want to be treated, especially with your sig other. I tend to get a little... friendly at parties, and making out becomes a sport. The game is off once you start dating someone. I don't care if I kissed 20 people that weren't my boyfriend, the minute I see my boyfriend kissing some chick who ISN'T me you bet I'd knock that bitch on her ass and my boyfriend would get the drunken lecture of a lifetime. Is the a double standard? YES, obviously. But I've def had to come to the realization that I'm in a relationship and I can't act single anymore. The new sport is suppressing the urge to make out with your best friend, who looks HOT for some reason... it is her new shirt? Or her new hair did? OH, yeah, it's the alcohol.

- Don't do it on stairs, especially when you still live at home and your parents room is at the TOP of the stairs. This goes for apartment complexes too.

- Yes, the sex might feel really good, but chances are, you're NOT alone, and moaning/screaming will NOT be good.

- Avoid major parks, especially if one member is sober, and ESPECIALLY if the girl is drunk. People get into enough trouble being in parks at night, having sex with some drunk chick does NOT look good at ALL.



Feel free to add on this, I have to pee really bad so I'm done for now.
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(no subject) [Dec. 8th, 2005|12:08 pm]
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In June I set punkinseedfiend's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Sunday I helped captain_flappy hide a body (-173 points). In July I helped mulletsrule see the light (8 points). In September I caught a purse-snatcher who stole linzzt86's purse (30 points). Last Tuesday I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-277 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
jurmaplooza

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
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(no subject) [Nov. 20th, 2005|05:06 pm]
I got married a little while ago.
I love my husband.
Send us wedding presents.
The end.
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(no subject) [Oct. 5th, 2005|11:07 am]
If you have found yourself in any of the following situations , then you too are a passenger on the SHAME TRAIN:

1. You've been called a Pirate Hooker.
2. You use sad pick up lines to get people in your dorm room.
3. You bust out early 90's dance moves in frat houses.
4. You call the "walk of shame" the "stride of pride".
5. You commonly refer to yourself as a shlut.
6. You only get action when you're wasted (aka beer goggles).
7. Your drunken "mishaps" are legendary.
8. You're drunk more than you are sober.
9. You're a Professional Alcoholic with a school problem.
10. You drink burrs and not beers.

ALL ABOARD THE SHAME TRAIN.
TOOOOOOT!! TOOOOOOOT!!
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O-Trail [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:56 am]
I come to a river....the normal choices come:
ford it...chalk it....take a ferry....
so I say hmm I'm gonna ford it...
and I'll be damned 7 of my fuckin oxen died!...
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No surprises here. [Sep. 28th, 2005|12:40 am]
Modern, Cool Nerd
86 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 47% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST




My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 97% on nerdiness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 86% on geekosity

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 80% on dork points
Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2005|11:47 am]
u have opened this u have to read it and do as it says immediately or you will have a stroke in 4 minutes and 32 seconds. sorry. but the antidote is to play this game! all you have to do is put ur name and a place to have sex. now lets get doing the motion of the ocean people!

1. shelby- shower
2. chris- hot tub
3. bobby- in a ice cream parlor
4. kelsey- on a bed- im a stiff...lol
5. joan- parents bed
6. jesse- on a table
7. turner- on a counter
8. *sun flower*- in an open wheat field under the stars
9. kristina- in a log cabin
10.jordan- in her parents hous
11. jenn- in a shed
12. stephani- ina public bathroom
13. harry- in a ferris wheel- good memories...hehe
14. connor- in the middle of a street
15. kyle- at a mall
16. britney- in a laundry room
17. betty- in the middle of no where
18. todd- on a couch
19. gabi- on the beach
20. james- bed..
21. brittany- on an un-even dryer- lol
22. ally - in an airplane
23. John- on a baseball field
24. jade ~ on a trampoline
25. mitch - on an airplane!! goin the mile high club yall!
26. Kristle ~ Hottub
27.AnNa!-beach..lOl
28.Chris - anywhere the fuck i can
29.mike-on a boat
30.Crystal- on a bed or on a private beach.
31.kristina- on a beach..haha sorry crystal..thats just romantic lol
32.laura- on a pool table...yummy
33.Dan-wendys parking lot duh!
34. Nate- a trashy hotel in texas
35. cc- the train in the bathroom or in the seats wit everyone lookin.. haha
36.on the beach wiht a blanket under so u dont get sand all p in u
37. kitchen floor
38. sand dunes...i dunno?!!?
39. in the bed of a truck haha that one is to drew
40. a Vagina... lol
41.grant-outside in the woods lol
42. annie - pt cruiser ;)
43. Ash- in a walk in cooler hhahahaha
44.kelsey- on a running washer machine and dryer
45. Jake- hmm airplane bathroom
46. kayla- @ church...
47. Chase-while jumping out of a plane/ sky diving
48. Nicoletta - umm the beach?
49. On Michael Jacksons Neverland rides
50. XUAN; back seat windows upp thats the way i like to fuckkk. car duhh.
51. Katie - An Elevator. Yeah.
52. Zane - One a porn movie set. So you have access to lube, toys, and multiple raincoats.
53.leo---the beach
54. Rose, Kehaulani, Jessica - In the dumpster behind the Dairy Queen! <33
55.Kiga-against a tree
56. Snow- Um im not sure... In bed..
57. Nya~ On a rooftop w/ a blanket under you..
58.Demon SEphiroth umm probley in the bathroom in the tub
59.kevin i dont know ask angel *ps im pissed*
60.~baby kitsune~right here baby..
61.Kagome Higurashi~~~in the pool thats in my backyard
62.koga----anywhere ya want baby
63. Sakura-chan~>juss in a room?....
64. Vincent--Uh...On top of a piano I guess...
65.Catalina~ In the car, hotel, bed or anywhere lol just me and him thats what matters.
66.Lenne---> i cant think... im so tired after that trip.... so i guess in hawaii... haha gay..... i told u i'm out of it rite now.... ZZZzzzz...
67.AZNCHICK_17---->GOSH... ITS SOOO TIRING... GASPING... IM ALMOST DEAD....
68. Lucy~~~AKA Rinoa~~~ Umm... How about... airport bathroom...
69. Dagger aka Amanda-under the stars
70. Miwa-... >.> in dressing room or stall at a mall... so everyone could hear how good it is =3
71.wolfwood- in shamu's fish tank!!!! bet no one was think in that!
72.Kayley The ANIME School Girl-Classroom duh
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<_<>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

u have opened this u have to read it and do as it says immediately or you will have a stroke in 4 minutes and 32 seconds. sorry. but the antidote is to play this game! all you have to do is put ur name and a place to have sex. now lets get doing the motion of the ocean people!

1. shelby- shower
2. chris- hot tub
3. bobby- in a ice cream parlor
4. kelsey- on a bed- im a stiff...lol
5. joan- parents bed
6. jesse- on a table
7. turner- on a counter
8. *sun flower*- in an open wheat field under the stars
9. kristina- in a log cabin
10.jordan- in her parents hous
11. jenn- in a shed
12. stephani- ina public bathroom
13. harry- in a ferris wheel- good memories...hehe
14. connor- in the middle of a street
15. kyle- at a mall
16. britney- in a laundry room
17. betty- in the middle of no where
18. todd- on a couch
19. gabi- on the beach
20. james- bed..
21. brittany- on an un-even dryer- lol
22. ally - in an airplane
23. John- on a baseball field
24. jade ~ on a trampoline
25. mitch - on an airplane!! goin the mile high club yall!
26. Kristle ~ Hottub
27.AnNa!-beach..lOl
28.Chris - anywhere the fuck i can
29.mike-on a boat
30.Crystal- on a bed or on a private beach.
31.kristina- on a beach..haha sorry crystal..thats just romantic lol
32.laura- on a pool table...yummy
33.Dan-wendys parking lot duh!
34. Nate- a trashy hotel in texas
35. cc- the train in the bathroom or in the seats wit everyone lookin.. haha
36.on the beach wiht a blanket under so u dont get sand all p in u
37. kitchen floor
38. sand dunes...i dunno?!!?
39. in the bed of a truck haha that one is to drew
40. a Vagina... lol
41.grant-outside in the woods lol
42. annie - pt cruiser ;)
43. Ash- in a walk in cooler hhahahaha
44.kelsey- on a running washer machine and dryer
45. Jake- hmm airplane bathroom
46. kayla- @ church...
47. Chase-while jumping out of a plane/ sky diving
48. Nicoletta - umm the beach?
49. On Michael Jacksons Neverland rides
50. XUAN; back seat windows upp thats the way i like to fuckkk. car duhh.
51. Katie - An Elevator. Yeah.
52. Zane - One a porn movie set. So you have access to lube, toys, and multiple raincoats.
53.leo---the beach
54. Rose, Kehaulani, Jessica - In the dumpster behind the Dairy Queen! <33
55.Kiga-against a tree
56. Snow- Um im not sure... In bed..
57. Nya~ On a rooftop w/ a blanket under you..
58.Demon SEphiroth umm probley in the bathroom in the tub
59.kevin i dont know ask angel *ps im pissed*
60.~baby kitsune~right here baby..
61.Kagome Higurashi~~~in the pool thats in my backyard
62.koga----anywhere ya want baby
63. Sakura-chan~>juss in a room?....
64. Vincent--Uh...On top of a piano I guess...
65.Catalina~ In the car, hotel, bed or anywhere lol just me and him thats what matters.
66.Lenne---> i cant think... im so tired after that trip.... so i guess in hawaii... haha gay..... i told u i'm out of it rite now.... ZZZzzzz...
67.AZNCHICK_17---->GOSH... ITS SOOO TIRING... GASPING... IM ALMOST DEAD....
68. Lucy~~~AKA Rinoa~~~ Umm... How about... airport bathroom...
69. Dagger aka Amanda-under the stars
70. Miwa-... >.> in dressing room or stall at a mall... so everyone could hear how good it is =3
71.wolfwood- in shamu's fish tank!!!! bet no one was think in that!
72.Kayley The ANIME School Girl-Classroom duh <_<
73.Anime Angel-Hot tub^_^
74. Clarice - On one of the beds in Alas. Lol. XP
75.jamie-i.dont.really.care.where.o_O?
76: emily-IN FRONT OF YOU!!!! hahahaha...nah...at school? =p
77.In a Library, haha keep quite and do not disturb. lol
78. AshLey>>In MaI pAnTz...LOL
79.sunnie- on the stairs infront of sumwun else's house behind the wall so no one can see
80.M O L L Y~in a shower hahaha
81. ayana- in a igloo!!
82.~irie_dizzy~ iN uR pArEnTs BeDrOoM.....
83.Hercules.....On A Hali'i, at sandy beach to the right of chambers
84. chantelle kaleionalani~ the look out point between sandys and makapuu
85. kenji::~Kailua Beach~2:30 in the morning
86. fi - argyros forum 206 i think .. anytime .. anyplace bitches!!!
87. valen - on the stage of chapmans auditorium memorial hall
88. sunshine - SaNdyS.........=)
89.C...in a hotel room
90. Jon- my closet.
91. Stephanie Geltmacher- HIs house any tym when the parents arent home....or at night at a park...lol
92. Liezhen= n e where to have a good tyme..chea..she a freak..wit my baby
93. ian williams-sex in da kitchen(thnx r. kelly)a black jack table,nd den in a supamarket...dat las 1nz in therr 4 fun
94.olivia arnold-in a water bed,movies,school n many more
95 SARA BONARDI-WARPED TOUR, KITCHIN COUNTER OR TABLE,
96.Karen-in either a walk in closet or a huge bed with loud loud music blasting preferably punk,rock,alternative, or metal =)
97. noel - now does it really matter where the fuck u do it? if you're lucky enough to be having sex, you're lucky enough. lol. a couch.
98. pat- ON YOUR MOMS BED
99. melissa- beach
100. ariana- beach
101. Lindsay-MOSH PIT!! hahaha
102. IN HELL! MOWHAHHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!
103. tripp-in a closet , in bed,in a car etc.
104. michelle- a bed duh haha pat:)
105 marc - shower or beach
106.Kat-on your boyfriend
107.stewie- in my bathroom when I'm involved in the sex!
108.Trish-at pizza hut in the bathroom...haha i did that
109.Cailyn- In a ball pit at mcdonalds
110. deanna - in a confessional at church...it's only funny if one of you are jewish though.
111. Pierce- Online!!! BITCHES!
112. Christi- Beach =D
113. chris- im gunna say havin a 3some in the middle of a shawnee football game on the 50 yard line
114. mike p -taco bell while eating a baja steak gordita
115. eric g. in a pool
116. ashley r. on a football field =)
117. A Rooftop
118.Beach
119. Karen- on francesco hehe (not)
120. lAuReNn- iiNn thEe raiiNn.. yEahh ii knoOo thAtSz hoTt!
121. cristie<3- at night on tha beach in tha rain!
122. Emmiee-in a hott//steamy bath tub with no lights & just candles all around.
123. carrie- kitchen counter?
124. koala-in my pants
125. The Guinness Man-On a firetruck...leave it to the fireman to say the firetruck.
126, Jen ~ my bed,his bed, on a firetruck, or in the firehouse...lol
127. nicole - central park ;)
128. Jess- Not my fucking backyard, that's for sure.
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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2005|02:39 pm]
You are a

Social Liberal
(65% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(30% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat




Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2005|01:04 am]
I just tried to ford the river, but my fucken oxen died.
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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2005|12:42 am]
Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK]
You are a FURRY!
You are a sick, sick, individual. Stop lusting over animals! Take off that fursuit and quit yiffing. No-one likes furry art! STOP NOW!
More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com


This makes me think of the time I was in high school watching a MTV show on furries late at night, and my mom came down stairs because she couldn't sleep. And we watched together for a few minutes in silence then she's like "what are you watching?" Then we laugh and keep watching.
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2005|06:27 pm]
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

That's hot.
I had to steal it from Patricia.
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|06:04 pm]
Today was a fucking great day. I slept really shitty and wound up staying up reading Harry, which meant getting up at 8 AM was a bitch. So I got up, and piddled around my room, which is coming along quite beautifully by the way. But I need new books. Going through my library and realizing how much I have makes me realize how much I want more.
Amazon.com = INCREDIBLY cheap used books.
I mean, a $13.00 book I was reading at B&N was $1.24 on amazon.

I went to TOPS and bought bobby pins, rubber bands, and a nice card for my cousin. I wish I had bling to put in it, but I fucking DON'T.

I was kind of feeling bummed that I wasn't getting married this summer like originally planned, plus being underslept meant I was sluggish for the first half of the party.
Then things picked up. I played beer pong with my Dad and my Aunt, and that goes down in history as the best drinking memory evar.

My cousins friend Melissa is a science teacher in Pembroke, and teaches 8th grade science and is certified to teach bio and chem. It was real nice talking to her about her experiences, and she was so nice and told me she'd like me to come and observe her whenever needed and encouraged me to e-mail her whenever I had a question.

Then the majority of people left and then Amy and Sabrina came over and the drunkeness really started.

Highlights:
Sab being forced to play beer pong multiple times
John wearing my cousins lacey teddy and putting balloons in the bra
Boys peeing in the backyard
The neighbor bringing over leftover jell-o shots from his party yesterday
The boys hitting each other with things so hard it left marks, including belts, handprints, and ping pong balls
My Aunt doing shots of Henessey
Realizing how fricken cool my family is
Amy and Sabrina wishing their parents were cool

Amy and Sabrina are like, amazing friends. I just feel really open to them, and it's nice being people who are as motivated as I am.

Tomorrow the family is coming over and we're doing the birthday thing.
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|09:06 am]
Dear Jen,

Wow, I don't believe the time has come that you are actually going to get married. I've always thought of you as being my big sister, and will always remember growing up with you and being so jealous because you were so much more older and sophisticated and I was just the awkward little kid. Things like watching you get ready for your dance recitals, tagging along with you and your friends, and thinking I was so cool when I was out with you at places like the mall are always going to be in my memory. And I hope that in some way you think of me as your little sister.

I couldn't think of anybody more amazing to spend the rest of your life with then John. He really is perfect.

I love you so much and I know you're going to be happy for the rest of your life.

- Jess
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|07:23 am]
Being sucked dry by leeches isn't so bad.
You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.


What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2005|09:08 pm]
So I knew I needed a new muffler...
fuck, it sounds like I'm driving a race car.
And I knew I needed a front end alignment.
And an oil change.

But other things needed to be done.
And the dude (who was really hot by the way, but more on that later) said that the total would be around $580.
That is insane.
But the dude, was old, like, mid-30's. I think it was the uniform, and the job. There is just something about a man in uniform, plus kindness. I mean I understand this dude was just doing his job by being polite to me, but kindness is a biggie when it comes to me finding somebody attractive.
I was way pumped that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring, but then realized that not many mechanics wear them because they would get cruddy.
And I really think a guy that works HARD is hot.

I think I want to be a chemical engineer.
It would take me a long time to obtain this degree, however, because I know I could only take 1-2 math courses at a time because I would need to heavily concentrate on it.
I don't even care if it's a second bachelors, because I'd already have a masters in some form of education.

And then Nicole was here! I felt so bad because I came right from the mechanics and I was SO fucken bummed out, but honestly being with her for like 20 minutes made me forget about it.
We went to Spot and of course the drive there was crazy, full of last minute turns and pot-hole collisions. We listened to Ani on the way there, and it felt SO good to just be there with her listening to our girl while catching up.

And tomorrow is the bridal shower which means things will FINALLY calm the fuck down and life can return to normal at my house.

I've been trying to organize my life, like little things like my room and other things in my life. I found a free interior cleaning from delta sonic and I am going to get that done soon.

And now, peace out.
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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2005|04:27 pm]
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color, to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.

HAHA this deep thought reminds me of the time I went fishing with my family, and I caught a fish, and I wanted it to be my pet. My parents tried explaining to me that out of water the fish would die, but I didn't listen. For a good hour, I carried that fish around, and loved it a lot.
Then it died.
True story.
The end.
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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2005|06:57 am]

Harry Potter Spoilers...Collapse )

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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2005|05:45 am]
So This Sunday is my cousins bridal shower, the one my mother has put her heart and soul into planning, and it might rain. I hope it doesn't, just for the reason that it would break my mothers heart.
Amy, Tia, and Sab are coming! Patricia has to work, and that makes me sad :( She should totally blow off work and come to the party.
Hey, free booze!

Last night I headed over to Amy's new apartment for the first time. Crazy times this summer, I thought it was going to be full of friends and boys and crazy times, but it's just me continually spirally out of control emotionally and putting 150% into my job, which isn't a bad thing. I've decided I need to see a councelor, and I am not ready to move out of my parents house. That probably doesn't sound like a surprise, but it's been hard to come to terms with.
Anyways, Amy is seeing someone and, ahem, it has gotten quite serious. I'm really happy for her, and if anyone deserves a bit of happiness it's that girl. And I fucking swear to God if anyone hurts her I'll have their balls in a jar faster then they could say, "holyshitwheredidmyballsgo?"

And Sabrina and I went to Barnes and Noble to get my Harry Potter book last night! I would up being there till 1:30, and she left early because we really didn't realize we were going to be there THAT late. IT was fun, the kids were cute and dressed up like Harry, and they gave out free posters and glasses. Now, Tigger is rocken' out with his cuntsnot button, east coast slut bracelet, and harry potter glasses. HAHA I should take a picture.
It was fun talking to sab one-on-one, but it made me a bit sad. She's going through the same type of break-up, and I kind of realizedthat like, I'm back even before stage one. Like, I mean, I was going to get MARRIED this summer, and now it's like, I haven't kissed a dude in a MONTH. And it makes me sad too because I said, outloud, like, "yeah, I was cleaning my room and I found a card from jarad and it said 'I will always love you my sweet jessy'" and now I just realize it's such a crock of shit. What did I do (or what could ANYBODY do) to make my boyfriend of 4 years FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM ME, PRACTICALLY KICKING AND SCREAMING, AND NEVER HAVING THE DESIRE TO LOOK BACK?
But I do have bad luck getting shit back from any boyfriend.
I left Jarad a message asking for my fridge and my grandfathers tool set back, and I said, "please IM me soon, and don't wait 2 months to do it [like he normally does]." I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe my dad restarted my comp so I didn't get his message, but I doubt it.
And the other guy, I'm so stupid.
"Here, have my 5 beautiful hardcover Harry Potter book and Galileo thermometer that was a gift from my mom and keep them, because I know we'll be together forever."
NO, BAD, STUPID JESSICA.

Oh well, Paxil CR is back on the market, and I need it bad so my parents don't find my in the fucken' bathtub with my wrists slashed.

So my heart finally broke,
it was so long bent,
and it broke in three places,
when it finally went.
It wanted only to say what it meant,
so it suffered every punishment.
Now it lives in a shack outside of town,

and only the wolves are out there listening.
And in her dreams they chase her down,
their moonlit eyes are glistening.
And it is you each time,
it is you.
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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2005|11:12 pm]
Le sigh...

I wish Harry Potter was my Le Boyfriend... any boy I have to wait in line for over 2 fricken hours to get my hands on SHOULD be my boyfriend.
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(no subject) [Jul. 13th, 2005|07:58 pm]
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I think this is my newest favorite picture ever.
I've considered making it my buddy icon.
Mark is a lover not a fighter and the damned laziest person ever and I like him that way.
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(no subject) [Jul. 10th, 2005|02:00 am]
Blah... My body is falling apart...

- It feels as if I'm digesting brillo pads, and it hurts to move
- I have my period, and ooooooooooooooo nelly is it a doozy!
- I'm in on my third day of a cold (I'm not sure if I got it from Ange or Jen from work) and my throat feels if I've SWALLOWED brillo pads due largely to the fact that I've been hurling
- I'm super tired (I was up at 8:00 this morn and couldn't fall back asleep) PLUS I had to work today
- My muscles hurt due largely to the fact that...
- I'm dehydrated (in the past 3 hours I drank 3-20oz bottles of iced tea and a 32-oz bottle of gatorade, and they were warm so I used 3 trays of ice cubes); I've only peed 2 times.


This sucks man.
I hate my body. :(
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(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2005|03:58 pm]
ANGELAS IS MY BESTEST FRIEND AND I'M A FUCK UP.
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR BUNCHES AND BUNCHES.
SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.....................


HAHA ERIC ISN'T THAT BAD EITHER. <3
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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2005|10:14 pm]
CARL I would really like for you to contact me so we can discuss returning my things. All I really want are my Harry Potter books and my thermometer back. You can call me or e-mail me, and I'm even willing to pay for it if you want to send it to me in the mail, just let me know how much the shipping is and I'll send you a check. YOu don't even have to verbally talk to me, just e-mail me or IM me if you don't feel comfortable with calling and/or seeing me.
THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH.


And Son of a Nutcracker, I was just about to leave work today and I went to the bathroom and discovered I got my period. What the FUCK man, this better not ruin my weekend, although now I know I'm not dying because I had REALLY bad cramps all morning and thought my intestinal problems were acting up again.
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A note to my FAVORITE high school English teacher, not that any of you give two shits, or even one. [Jul. 8th, 2005|09:04 pm]
HAHA I know what you mean about finding time to read Harry Potter. For the fifth book Jarad and I went at midnight to get it and I wound up staying up super late reading it. needless to say, I did NOT make it on time to my 8:00 organic chem lecture! HAHA.

I am so envious about your new baby!! I cannot WAIT until I am at the age to start having babies, because that means I'll have married a fabulous man and already have an established career.

And I'm gonna get corny and sentimental on you... I just wanted to thank you for being my English teacher when I was in tenth and eleventh grade. Honestly, it was you who made me want to go to college and make something out of my life. It was 'A Midsummer's Night Dream' that made me want to be an English teacher. The way you taught it really made teaching and literature so appealing and amazing. Thank you for being not only my teacher but also my friend. Even though we don't really see each other I consider you one of the most amazing and influential people in my life and I am so grateful for your friendship. THANK YOU!

Love love love!!!,
Jessica
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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2005|07:22 pm]
I just foind Jarad's myspace account, and it says he's "in a relationship."

Surprisingly, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be.

I'll just wait until my pain killer wears off.

Le sigh. :(
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(no subject) [Jul. 7th, 2005|11:03 pm]
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...

BURN IT DOWN TROGDOR!!

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(no subject) [Jul. 7th, 2005|10:53 pm]
I just can't seem to maintain a civil relationship with my Father for more than one day. He'e so bitter, and apparently I can't do anything right. I think he would be happy if I quit school and worked 80 hours a week, seriously. Normal parents would be happy their children kick ass at school and have a good job. But not my Dad, I get a "good job" about my grades and that's it, and a "why aren't you working more?" in every other aspect. Fuck man.

So tonight was quite funny. My parents went to dinner at a friends, and my sister wasn't home, which is probably a good thing because she just beats me up as of late. So, I knew this all day, so I borrowed Jen's husbands gameboy in preperation to play it all night. But, I wind up at Tim Hortons visiting Ange, Lorraine, and Dell.

Highlights:
- Cunty McFuckhole
- I sound like a bird chirping when I laugh
- The llama farm commercial on TV

Then I drove around in dozens of circles in the blockbuster parking lot.

Dell was crabby, so I drove her home, then I was thirsty and Lorraine and I went to get a drink, where there was this cute nerdy guy with a lip ring. When we got to the car I made Lorraine go give him my number, on a piece or Artvoice, which had a picture of a coffee bean and the phrase, "you, me, my place, a nightcap." We laughed all the way home.

Live is funny as of late.

Real funny = screaming "GET OUT!" a la Donatella Versace.

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(no subject) [Jul. 7th, 2005|12:50 am]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!




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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2005|01:17 am]
On a side note, all I want to eat are freezie pops. I ate 7 of those huge things yesterday, and 4 today.

Tasty.
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