||[Jul. 16th, 2005|05:45 am]
Here comes little naked me!!
So This Sunday is my cousins bridal shower, the one my mother has put her heart and soul into planning, and it might rain. I hope it doesn't, just for the reason that it would break my mothers heart.|
Amy, Tia, and Sab are coming! Patricia has to work, and that makes me sad :( She should totally blow off work and come to the party.
Hey, free booze!
Last night I headed over to Amy's new apartment for the first time. Crazy times this summer, I thought it was going to be full of friends and boys and crazy times, but it's just me continually spirally out of control emotionally and putting 150% into my job, which isn't a bad thing. I've decided I need to see a councelor, and I am not ready to move out of my parents house. That probably doesn't sound like a surprise, but it's been hard to come to terms with.
Anyways, Amy is seeing someone and, ahem, it has gotten quite serious. I'm really happy for her, and if anyone deserves a bit of happiness it's that girl. And I fucking swear to God if anyone hurts her I'll have their balls in a jar faster then they could say, "holyshitwheredidmyballsgo?"
And Sabrina and I went to Barnes and Noble to get my Harry Potter book last night! I would up being there till 1:30, and she left early because we really didn't realize we were going to be there THAT late. IT was fun, the kids were cute and dressed up like Harry, and they gave out free posters and glasses. Now, Tigger is rocken' out with his cuntsnot button, east coast slut bracelet, and harry potter glasses. HAHA I should take a picture.
It was fun talking to sab one-on-one, but it made me a bit sad. She's going through the same type of break-up, and I kind of realizedthat like, I'm back even before stage one. Like, I mean, I was going to get MARRIED this summer, and now it's like, I haven't kissed a dude in a MONTH. And it makes me sad too because I said, outloud, like, "yeah, I was cleaning my room and I found a card from jarad and it said 'I will always love you my sweet jessy'" and now I just realize it's such a crock of shit. What did I do (or what could ANYBODY do) to make my boyfriend of 4 years FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM ME, PRACTICALLY KICKING AND SCREAMING, AND NEVER HAVING THE DESIRE TO LOOK BACK?
But I do have bad luck getting shit back from any boyfriend.
I left Jarad a message asking for my fridge and my grandfathers tool set back, and I said, "please IM me soon, and don't wait 2 months to do it [like he normally does]." I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe my dad restarted my comp so I didn't get his message, but I doubt it.
And the other guy, I'm so stupid.
"Here, have my 5 beautiful hardcover Harry Potter book and Galileo thermometer that was a gift from my mom and keep them, because I know we'll be together forever."
NO, BAD, STUPID JESSICA.
Oh well, Paxil CR is back on the market, and I need it bad so my parents don't find my in the fucken' bathtub with my wrists slashed.
So my heart finally broke,
it was so long bent,
and it broke in three places,
when it finally went.
It wanted only to say what it meant,
so it suffered every punishment.
Now it lives in a shack outside of town,
and only the wolves are out there listening.
And in her dreams they chase her down,
their moonlit eyes are glistening.
And it is you each time,
it is you.